Grief is a broad collection of feelings and behavioral responses we experience after the loss of someone or something important to us. Bereavement — the loss of someone close, such as a spouse, family member, friend, or pet – especially generates feelings that last longer and go deeper than other losses. Here are some thoughts on coping with grief:

Individuals experience and express grief in different ways. We often expect people experiencing grief or bereavement to express emotions through crying or being angry. However, older adults may quietly isolate themselves from social activities or experience profound loneliness. Confusion may also be a common effect of grief, regardless of age. However, older adults can experience more intense confusion that includes disorientation, forgetfulness, and feeling overwhelmed.

Grief can impact physical health. Psychological stress and strong emotions such as anxiety may wear down immune systems or increase the risk for negative health events related to existing health conditions like high blood pressure. People may lose their appetites and stop eating regularly. Grief can also cause problems with sleep and motivation. These effects may be stronger and more influential for the physical health of older adults with existing health conditions.

Experiencing grief weeks or months after we lose someone is okay. We will never “just get over it” after a few days. In fact, grief counselors acknowledge that grieving can be at least a year-long process, and possibly harder when experiencing the major holidays and birthdays for the first time without the person. It is also normal to experience sadness from time to time, even years later, when memories of the person or special moments come to mind. Our American culture rarely acknowledges grief as a multi-faceted and complex emotional process that requires a lot of time and grief work (sometimes with a professional counselor) for us to establish a sense of peace.

Spend time with the person. Getting together for a cup of coffee or a walk can help lift a person’s spirits. If they are willing and ready to do so, sharing memories of the person who was lost can be emotionally helpful. Older adults may have more than one loss to deal with at a time – for example, losing a spouse may contribute to a reduction or loss in their own independence or ability to attend social activities. Separating each loss from one another may help the grieving person feel less overwhelmed and more able to cope with emotional distress.

Acknowledge signs of concerning behavior if they continue. After some time, a caregiver may point out signs of sadness or behavior changes they have seen. This may make a grieving person more aware and may provide a comforting opportunity to talk about their thoughts and feelings with a trusted caregiver.

If there are concerns that a loved one has depression related to grief, it is important to seek professional help by consulting a health care provider or counselor. HopeHealth has behavioral health providers who can assess and diagnose individuals who may be suffering from depression related to bereavement. Grief counseling may help someone find peace after a significant loss. To learn more about behavioral services offered at HopeHealth and connect with a behavioral health professional, call 843-667-9414 or visit hope-health.org.