Will Hunter, PsyD

Though summer days may seem endless, the return to school often sneaks up on kids and parents. The early mornings, homework deadlines, and disjointed family time during the week can feel limiting and draining. Heading back to school is a big adjustment, physically and emotionally, for the entire household. One of the best ways families can prepare is to provide a stable foundation through a predictable, consistent schedule.

As a clinical psychologist, one of the most common things I see is how children benefit from predictability during transitions. Their brains feel more stable, safe, and secure when they have a general sense of what to expect. Routines create structure, reduce uncertainty, and help children feel more confident managing something new. Additionally, involving children in creating these routines and helping them anticipate changes can reduce stress and worry for everyone.

Some anxiety about returning to school is normal. So much is new and unfamiliar – teachers, classmates, friendships, and academic pressure can feel overwhelming. Rather than trying to prevent or remove anxiety, parents can help children learn to manage it. Ask what concerns them most, listen openly and compassionately, without immediately reassuring or solving the problem, and help them identify potential solutions and coping strategies they can use when they feel nervous. Children develop confidence not by avoiding anxiety, but by learning they can handle it.

Parents can help foster the transition back to school by preparing in advance. In the weeks before school starts, take the opportunity to gradually reintroduce routines that support both physical and emotional well-being. Collaborating with kids on small, achievable goals will help make big goals doable. Even small changes can make a difference, like practicing breathing or preparing lunches together. This is also a good time to reflect. Take time to talk about the highlights and favorite memories of the summer. These reminders of summer fun can also be helpful for any back-to-school assignments!

Each school year is a fresh start with exciting opportunities. Remind kids that endings also mean new beginnings with new adventures and seasons to celebrate. Ask kids what they are most excited about with the upcoming school year, and talk together about the new routine and potential changes you anticipate. Be creative and decorate a calendar together, make paper chains or sticker charts as a countdown to the first day of school, or take family back-to-school shopping trips. When setting a new routine, balance school, homework, and chores with meaningful, fun activities that give kids time to be kids.

Keep in mind that the transition to any new routine or habit takes time and patience. Anchoring the week with family activities or meals can make time together predictable and comforting. For example, knowing that every Thursday is “breakfast for dinner” gives kids something easy to look forward to. Expect ups and downs; the ultimate goal is progress, not perfection. Showing kids how to respond and be flexible when things go wrong or don’t go as expected increases resilience and reduces worry.

One important aspect of this routine is sleep. A regular sleep schedule is vital for overall health and helps kids learn and focus in the classroom while managing their emotions and stress effectively. Take time to get them ready with a “sleep reset” and return to a regular sleep pattern two weeks before school starts. This includes weekends as well, to avoid a “jet lag” effect. Aim for nine to twelve hours of sleep for children up to age 12 and eight to ten hours of sleep for teenagers. Going to bed and getting up at around the same time each day is a vital component of a healthy sleep routine. Setting goals for wake-up and bedtime and tracking whether they were met can be a helpful tool for visualizing and celebrating progress, whether via a phone app or a poster at home.

A nightly ritual helps the body and mind get ready for sleep. Both kids and adults need a “wind-down time” of 30 minutes or more before bedtime. Reducing screen time in the bedroom can be a game-changer in helping kids, teens, and adults get adequate sleep. Avoid screens too close to bedtime, as the lights can make it hard to fall and stay asleep. A warm bath or shower, reading, listening to music, coloring or drawing, puzzles, meditations, prayers, and stretching are all simple ways to wind down, feel calm, and relax the mind.

If your child or teen has issues with sleep, physical ailments such as recurring headaches or stomachaches that are not resolving, or struggles with anxiety or depression, make an appointment with your child’s health care provider to discuss. While some stress and anxiety are typical for a new school year, worry that is unrealistic, unmanageable, or prevents them from being successful in school warrants further attention.

As the school begins, staying connected as a family can help provide structure and stability. Involve kids in this transition. Help them focus on little things they can control, like setting out clothes, making a simple breakfast, packing lunch, or organizing schoolwork and their backpack. Give positive feedback when small changes happen by telling them you’re impressed!

While structure and predictability are key, the most important component to any new routine or lifestyle change is flexibility. These are not strict rules to be followed, but rather patterns that create a stable foundation to help children navigate change. This fosters emotional development and regulation and empowers kids to bounce back and navigate the ups and downs of life. Beneficial habits take time to form, and children, just like adults, need feedback and guidance to meet new goals and expectations.

Sometimes, flexibility is what they need most when unexpected illnesses, injuries, and other unhappy moments happen. Ultimately, we want our kids to be resilient and understand that they will continue to grow, improve, and overcome the obstacles they face in life.