Julissa Frias, LPC 

The holidays are meant to be a joyous time of celebration and spending time with family and friends. Alongside feelings of joy, many people also report feeling stressed and overwhelmed during the holiday season.

A 2023 poll from the American Psychological Association showed 89% of respondents feel overwhelmed during the holiday season from November to January. Reported stressors include increased responsibility and busyness, concerns about not having enough money, potential family conflicts, missing loved ones, upholding certain holiday traditions, and finding the right gifts. Nearly half reported the stress as moderate, and 43% reported that the stress interferes with the enjoyment of the season.

If you’re one of the many who feel stressed, consider a plan to refresh and recharge this year. Take a little time to analyze stressors and develop a plan with a few new coping skills to help decrease overwhelm and add more cheer, joy, and gratitude.

First, think about your overall holiday season picture. What are the expectations, plans, and potential conflicts? What is realistic and what may be too much? Develop strategies for each area and add in self-care practices instead of trying to do everything and please everyone.

Set realistic expectations. Expectations are influenced by memories, environment, desires, and what you deem important. Examine your expectations and reassess what to give energy and time to. Aim to let go of perfection and focus instead on what’s most meaningful, like spending quality time with loved ones and friends. Don’t try to do too much or overextend your budget. Aim to simplify traditions and keep things more relaxed.

Plan ahead. Review the overall holiday schedule and decide what’s most important. Break it down to what works best for you and your family. Look at the schedule for family dinners, get-togethers, religious functions, parties, events, travel, decorating, cooking, and other responsibilities. Decide what you must do versus what you would like to do, and scale back where you can.

Make a budget and check it twice! To avoid overspending, make a list of who you plan to buy for, what to get, and how much to spend. Cut back on the volume of “stuff” and focus on quality instead of quantity. Also, plan for other expenses like food, decorations, wrapping supplies, postage, and shipping. Keep receipts and check in with your budget regularly instead of mindless spending. Curb or stop impulse shopping and stick to the list as much as possible.

Establish boundaries. Pick your comfort level with challenging family members and step away to take a deep breath if conflict arises. Aim not to dwell on drama, conflict, or negativity, steer away from continuing or escalating conflict, and leave a gathering early, if needed. Thoughts and reactions are the primary things you can truly control, reframe, and redirect in any situation.

Watch out for overscheduling and being pulled in different directions to help prevent burnout.  It’s impossible to please everyone, and it’s okay to say no or work out another plan. If juggling several holiday events, decide what works best for you and your family. For example, if you have to visit two households, have dinner at one home and dessert at another, or visit one family for Christmas Eve and the other on Christmas Day. People may get upset, but taking responsibility for your actions while modeling graciousness can help soothe both sides of an encounter.

Delegate tasks. Instead of trying to do it all, decide what help you need and talk with family or friends to ask for assistance. For example, have a potluck instead of cooking everything, or have a family member run errands or help with chores.

Embrace change. People and circumstances can change from year to year, and learning to adapt can make life easier. Create new meaningful traditions that work for your current season of life and focus on quality time with special people. Nothing is perfect, conflict happens, and life moves on. Remember to take a pause when needed.

Take time to recharge.  Prioritize self-care and know your limits and triggers. Focus on good nutrition, movement you enjoy, adequate sleep, and scheduling downtime. Even a short time of relief, doing something enjoyable or resting, can be helpful. Find healthy ways to treat yourself, such as booking a massage, getting outside, reading a book, or working on a hobby.

Practice gratitude and giving back. Take time to be mindful by enjoying special moments and finding things to be grateful for each day. Happiness is not a steady state; focusing on living in the moment with appreciation can help improve mood and attitude.  Showing acts of kindness and small gestures, including calling loved ones, checking on people, sharing smiles, hugs, and sincere compliments, all help build happy moments.

Giving back or getting involved helps build happiness and appreciation, particularly for those who feel lonely during the holidays. Volunteering, spreading awareness, and making donations can create an opportunity to try something new. It also builds connections, fosters compassion, provides support for others, and helps people appreciate what they have.

Honor grief and loss. Missing loved ones during the holiday season can be tough. Allow grace for yourself and others, as everyone grieves in their own way and time. Take time to process and learn to adapt over time. Set a tradition to honor, remember, and celebrate loved ones who are gone. Prepare their favorite dish, set a plate or empty chair, light a candle, create a memorial, share stories, volunteer in their memory, visit special places, or hang a special ornament to honor a loved one.

Focusing on prioritizing what’s really important and slowing down to enjoy special moments will bring more peace and joy with less stress during the holidays. In addition to the religious and spiritual aspects of the holidays, the season is all about coming together, making good memories, and spreading joy, kindness, and appreciation.